Category Archives: love

For Discussion: “The Nice Guy’s Guide to Realizing You’re Not That Nice”

Alt Text: “The Nice Guy’s Guide to Real­iz­ing You’re Not That Nice” (h/t Josh) I’m not in agree­ment with the abso­lutism of the assump­tion that makes this arti­cle work. The author says at one point: “Given that nice guys get bed­ded and/or wed­ded all the time, you must have a more spe­cific prob­lem than that.” And …

May 28, 2010 – 5:42 pm | By ashok | Posted in love | Comments (1)

Valentine’s Day Complaining

A major theme of some posts of mine — see here, here, here — is how our con­cep­tion of love changes because we grow up. Now it is not clear exactly how that con­cept changes and deep­ens, and we can argue until the end of time about that. But I think it is to be …

February 14, 2010 – 7:06 pm | By ashok | Posted in love | Comments (3)

Open Thread on “Settling,” Marriage and Relationships

Lori Got­tlieb, “Marry Him! The Case for Set­tling for Mr. Good Enough” This arti­cle is from a while ago, and I’m not sure whether I agree with it fully or not. I obvi­ously think the lessons hold for women and men, but that the author telling us about her per­sonal expe­ri­ence can’t be gen­er­al­ized too …

February 8, 2010 – 3:23 am | By ashok | Posted in links, love | Comments (4)

Learning the Hard Way: On John Updike’s “The Alligators”

The plot of John Updike’s short story “The Alli­ga­tors” seems sim­ple enough. Ado­les­cent boy thinks he hates ado­les­cent girl and tor­ments her; boy real­izes he’s a social out­cast like girl; boy falls in love with girl; boy gets rejected, for he is nei­ther needed nor wanted. To illus­trate, start­ing with the girl: Every­body hated her. That …

April 7, 2009 – 9:34 pm | By ashok | Posted in love, writing | Tagged | Comments (6)

Attended a wedding this weekend. In case you were curious about who got married:

For Mignon and Aaron Thurow, with faith, hope, & of course love In the past, Mignon has devoted con­sid­er­able energy to exam­in­ing the virtue of hope. Aaron has spo­ken at length of how our age refuses to believe peo­ple can act for a cause, can be moti­vated by faith more than self-interest. It is our …

August 25, 2008 – 9:30 pm | By ashok | Posted in academia, love, personal | Tagged | Comments (1)