Category Archives: love

“What I will never see again I must love forever.”

It need not be said that the full implications of this statement take a lifetime to realize. Of significantly less consequence is how ‘love as memory’ affects what we profess. I’ve been curious recently about the structure of a short essay by Strauss featuring this passage: In Cohen’s deliberately exaggerated expression, God’s being becomes actual …

January 31, 2012 – 10:49 am | By ashok | Posted in christianity, love, philosophy | Comments (0)

Are Women Increasingly Dating Guys Who Are Idiots?

So the last few weeks, I’ve run into a number of couples where there’s a woman who, for the most part, seems to have a good head on her shoulders. She might not have everything figured out and might be a bit too confident about her ability in certain areas, but whatever. We’ve all got …

December 13, 2011 – 12:02 am | By ashok | Posted in love | Comments (5)

“Beauty’s just another word I’m never certain how to spell.”

For Emma Askew. Trying to write some very short entries on epigraphs, lyrics, parts of poems for a readership that’s putting in 12 hour shifts or more. The Weakerthans, “Reconstruction Site” Trouble with wandering away is we don’t know when we’re being taken for a ride. Try rejecting the bandwagon tendencies of peers: going to …

November 13, 2011 – 2:24 pm | By ashok | Posted in love, weakerthans | Comments (0)

Open Thread on Relationships, 11/6/11

Found myself talking about relationships a lot this week. Solid people in them were having trouble, as is natural. (Then again, breaking up is natural.) And saw some stunning instances of “wow, you guys go to college, but apparently being a couple for you is just making out and saying ‘in a relationship’ loudly to …

November 6, 2011 – 3:49 pm | By ashok | Posted in love | Comments (1)

For Discussion: “The Nice Guy’s Guide to Realizing You’re Not That Nice”

Alt Text: “The Nice Guy’s Guide to Realizing You’re Not That Nice” (h/t Josh) I’m not in agreement with the absolutism of the assumption that makes this article work. The author says at one point: “Given that nice guys get bedded and/or wedded all the time, you must have a more specific problem than that.” …

May 28, 2010 – 5:42 pm | By ashok | Posted in love | Comments (3)

Valentine’s Day Complaining

A major theme of some posts of mine – see here, here, here – is how our conception of love changes because we grow up. Now it is not clear exactly how that concept changes and deepens, and we can argue until the end of time about that. But I think it is to be …

February 14, 2010 – 7:06 pm | By ashok | Posted in love | Comments (3)

Open Thread on “Settling,” Marriage and Relationships

Lori Gottlieb, “Marry Him! The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough” This article is from a while ago, and I’m not sure whether I agree with it fully or not. I obviously think the lessons hold for women and men, but that the author telling us about her personal experience can’t be generalized too …

February 8, 2010 – 3:23 am | By ashok | Posted in links, love | Comments (4)

Learning the Hard Way: On John Updike’s “The Alligators”

The plot of John Updike’s short story “The Alligators” seems simple enough. Adolescent boy thinks he hates adolescent girl and torments her; boy realizes he’s a social outcast like girl; boy falls in love with girl; boy gets rejected, for he is neither needed nor wanted. To illustrate, starting with the girl: Everybody hated her. …

April 7, 2009 – 9:34 pm | By ashok | Posted in love, writing | Tagged | Comments (8)

Attended a wedding this weekend. In case you were curious about who got married:

For Mignon and Aaron Thurow, with faith, hope, & of course love In the past, Mignon has devoted considerable energy to examining the virtue of hope. Aaron has spoken at length of how our age refuses to believe people can act for a cause, can be motivated by faith more than self-interest. It is our …

August 25, 2008 – 9:30 pm | By ashok | Posted in academia, love, personal | Tagged | Comments (1)

Sketch for a Song, Part 1

She wants to be carried away, and it isn’t unreasonable, even though it is literally unreasonable. Her life has been pain caused by a number of indecisive men and their desire to possess her, she thinks. The pain is real; the tyranny of awful expectation is real. Perhaps it is the fact that they’re holding …

August 22, 2008 – 9:35 pm | By ashok | Posted in love, personal | Tagged | Comments (0)