I’ve been saying this to various people and I’ll now announce it to the rest of the world.

In my whole life, I can recall 2 New Year’s parties – exactly 2 – which were worthwhile. One was with a very intellectual friend and champagne and food. Conversation was excellent, there were plenty of people, and board games were played in teams (hint: if you have me on your team and trivia is involved, you’ll probably win). The next morning, I kid you not, there was a family that had a membership in a yacht club and I was invited. The yacht club had a breakfast buffet where they served a lot of tasty things and – yes, at breakfast – more champagne.

The other had a bunch of single women who were attractive and into me and I confess that has a particular appeal.

Other than that, New Year’s is St. Patrick’s Day light. It’s an excuse to drink and maybe dance. No one really knows what to do and the parties are more about literally marking time than having any real tradition (meaning: food) associated with them. If you manage to put something good together for New Year’s, you’re doing something special. I’d imagine a good party feeds its guests, has room for dancing, and a place where people can sit and talk and play games if desired. Notice that this is a far cry from what happens at, say, every New Year’s party which will actually occur.