So the last few weeks, I’ve run into a number of couples where there’s a woman who, for the most part, seems to have a good head on her shoulders. She might not have everything figured out and might be a bit too confident about her ability in certain areas, but whatever. We’ve all got small faults.
Then I’ll talk to the boyfriend and I’ll wonder how this guy remembers to breathe. We’re not just talking “not so bright” here – we’re talking “wow, this guy has an amoeba for a brain. And you want kids with this guy?”
I’m writing this because when I think through it, there isn’t a misogynistic explanation. At first I thought any comment on this topic was going to sound really sexist. I was going to have to address how maybe women are controlling or a desire for nostalgia dominates relationships especially nowadays (“he reminds me of the kid eating paint chips in class!”). But then I remembered my own rule: there are different kinds of women, just like there are different kinds of men. And I think the real problem we’re running into is this:
We value success and control, but we don’t value intelligence. Intelligence and the desire for it are increasingly threatening to a subset of people.
When put this bluntly, it explains 99% of the behavior of the Internet. My sex, of course, has taken the lead in creating places where idiocy thrives and is probably ruining entire generations: see /b/. Also see the rituals of “The New Dating Game,” which force the opposite sex to find a way through elaborate constructs and poses of male stupidity. It seems people more than ever want a result or want to feel comfortable, and have no patience figuring out “why” or even “how.”
Look, I’m not saying “go find smart guys.” I’m just saying be a bit more open to them and call out your friends when they’re dating people you wouldn’t trust with your car keys even though you know they couldn’t open the door. This isn’t just incompetence I’m witnessing. I’m watching women purposely date people who are really, really stupid. That’s going to end badly for all involved. If the world needs anything right now, it needs people who are brave enough to deal with complexity and call it on its self-delusion.