Are Women Increasingly Dating Guys Who Are Idiots?

So the last few weeks, I’ve run into a number of couples where there’s a woman who, for the most part, seems to have a good head on her shoulders. She might not have everything figured out and might be a bit too confident about her ability in certain areas, but whatever. We’ve all got small faults.

Then I’ll talk to the boyfriend and I’ll wonder how this guy remembers to breathe. We’re not just talking “not so bright” here – we’re talking “wow, this guy has an amoeba for a brain. And you want kids with this guy?”

I’m writing this because when I think through it, there isn’t a misogynistic explanation. At first I thought any comment on this topic was going to sound really sexist. I was going to have to address how maybe women are controlling or a desire for nostalgia dominates relationships especially nowadays (“he reminds me of the kid eating paint chips in class!”). But then I remembered my own rule: there are different kinds of women, just like there are different kinds of men. And I think the real problem we’re running into is this:

We value success and control, but we don’t value intelligence. Intelligence and the desire for it are increasingly threatening to a subset of people.

When put this bluntly, it explains 99% of the behavior of the Internet. My sex, of course, has taken the lead in creating places where idiocy thrives and is probably ruining entire generations: see /b/. Also see the rituals of “The New Dating Game,” which force the opposite sex to find a way through elaborate constructs and poses of male stupidity. It seems people more than ever want a result or want to feel comfortable, and have no patience figuring out “why” or even “how.”

Look, I’m not saying “go find smart guys.” I’m just saying be a bit more open to them and call out your friends when they’re dating people you wouldn’t trust with your car keys even though you know they couldn’t open the door. This isn’t just incompetence I’m witnessing. I’m watching women purposely date people who are really, really stupid. That’s going to end badly for all involved. If the world needs anything right now, it needs people who are brave enough to deal with complexity and call it on its self-delusion.

12 responses

  1. Women are attracted to men who excel at manly pursuits; think about the appeal of a man in uniform, for example. I’m not saying that smart men couldn’t excel at these activities, but I wonder how many are interested in them.

  2. I’ve said the same thing about some of my male friends. At times I’ve shaken my head at their choices, since some of the ladies they dated weren’t smart.

  3. I don’t know the women in question, of course, so I may be way off here, but I would offer the hypothesis that this has a lot to do with the current cultural norms regarding dating.

    Firstly, I’d say most people aren’t specifically looking for a spouse when they begin to date. Their initial goal is often just to have a good time, and maybe “see where it goes” from there. This means that standards are not necessarily set all that high from the start. If the guy is mildly attractive and can tell a joke or two, that might be enough to initiate a relationship.

    Secondly, it is typical these days to begin sexual relations pretty early in the relationship. The resulting release of oxytocin for the woman creates an emotional bond to the man, whether or not he’s particularly worthy of such a bond. The woman’s judgment becomes clouded as to his qualifications as a potential husband, and she is reluctant to break it off with him even if she realizes that he’s not the sharpest crayon in the box.

  4. To give the women the benefit of the doubt, though, it should be noted that intellectualism isn’t everything. These men may be very skilled in other areas, and may have many fine character traits. They may even be intelligent in fields outside of the academic arena where you feel at home.

  5. you are right there are different types of woman as there are man. Maybe the women don’t think highly enough of themselves and would rather date someone who is inferior. Or maybe she is around too many “smart” People and enjoys the lightheartedness and slightly dim man. I don’t think anyone can truly answer your question except the woman you noticed this about.

  6. I’m not so sure it’s a matter of guys getting stupider. It seems the movement among the younger set is toward a kind of anti-relationship style of dating where each person is in the pseudo-relationship for one or two reasons. Few are interested in the ‘whole package’ anymore. As a result, many of the characteristics we used to screen for have fallen by the wayside as unimportant.

  7. I suppose “dating dumb” is less complicated, but wouldn’t it be rather boring also?
    What kind of conversation would you have.
    I could see it if someone just wanted a one nighter so to speak, but not a long lasting relationship.

  8. I have to agree with itsonlywords. Intelligence is not something that pushes attraction buttons with women in general. Unless your intelligence has taken you to a position of power most women will go with the dumb as a doorknob fireman over you anyday. Learnt that the hardway after many one way tickets to the magic land of let´s just be friends.

  9. You have a humorous way of sharing your thoughts lol. Your so right, its increasingly annoying to see so many nice women go out with dumb guys, what happened to all the good looking guys with brains? Having said that, It could be because they have a good sense of humor. I find women love a guy who can make her laugh and smile, but having a little bit of brains is not much to ask I think.

  10. Very good question. We all think that some guy dating a beautiful girl is an idiot. But that’s not true in most cases, because even if he is an idiot he know what girls wants. There are guys who are natural behave with girls and girls love that. Girls like interesting guys who can amuse them.

  11. Blah, blah blah:

    Hey, why don’t we just all use our brains for a moment.

    If there were any thing that was to the advantage of the female sex in the future, what would it be?


    It would be incredibly stupid men. Because you see, for thousands of years, men had higher intellectual capacities. We created the modern world. We engineered all modern technology, and all of its predecessors.

    Do you think the mechanical engineering that went into skyscrapers, or centrifugal pumps, or the light bulb, or electric power plants, came from the mind of a woman? No, it didn’t. What about the combustion engine, or the oil refining process, jet aircraft, rocket ships? Nope.

    Do you think it came from stupid, naive, “alpha” men?

    No, it didn’t. In fact, those alpha men have held back the speed at which we develop by MURDERING each other for thousands of years. We still condone this behavior – it’s called MILITARY SERVICE.

    Woman who pursue these types of men are only slowing down the progress of civilization. They should be sterilized, and so should the men whom they seek. Fucking ignorant bitches.

  12. I remember a female colleague of mine telling me that she would rather date a tall and hefty consturction worker living in a trailer than a short bald PhD…because she did not want to lookdown when kissing. Clearly how she feels like when she kisses is mor important to her than future financial and social stability, a good environment for kids and education. The inabilty to see and plan for future, the lack of ambition for personal development are the bane of most women today. They go from one poor choice to another whoring themsleves.

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