For Emma Askew. Trying to write some very short entries on epigraphs, lyrics, parts of poems for a readership that’s putting in 12 hour shifts or more.
Trouble with wandering away is we don’t know when we’re being taken for a ride. Try rejecting the bandwagon tendencies of peers: going to homecoming and reunions, watching beauty pageants, voting (or not-voting, depending on the peers). That rejection does not necessarily place us at something true or beautiful. We don’t even know we can ask the right questions.
What’s left is a muddle. If there’s going to be healing – we usually don’t turn our back unless we’re hurt – then we’re tempted to flooding ourselves with images. Maybe we can picture what we really want. TV comes with the images and the feeling the world isn’t passing us by. That puts us in a strange place: a bitter – perhaps miserable – rejection of misery.
Is the way out making “misery loves company” literally, positively true? Can’t we just find someone from our past who’s had crap luck and build from there? There’s no guarantee in life one can find passion, much less love. The only way out is to wander better, away from the hurt itself. That might mean a few lies: can’t reject everything involved in hurting us. Love and truth may not be terribly compatible, especially if we want to spell beauty ourselves someday.