On Hope and Judgment

One of the biggest problems I have encountered recently has stemmed from misplaced hope. I place hope in someone, and then find that hope betrayed because I misjudged who they were.

But then I start wondering: Did I really misjudge them? I mean, people do change, that’s what makes us human, and heck, I invested hope in the first place. There must have been some greater reason, some trust in something unseen yet knowable and lovable…

…and that line of “wondering” starts making me think that I should invest hope for the highest reasons, not my own reasons, and all of a sudden the people who I felt betrayed by become unimpeachable, no matter what idiotic thing they do.

This syndrome has hit me at least twice very, very hard since November, and I’m beginning to think the only way to counter it is to redefine hope in a more earthly manner. I don’t think things hoped for can reach beyond the human, otherwise they can never be satisfied. Even hoping that one would have a better character or wisdom for oneself is about being better in human terms.

The trouble I’m running into is that I’m tying my hopes to the supernatural, and thus putting myself under an unrealistic burden. At some point, I need to be allowed to make mistakes, and the trouble with those I placed hope in was that they felt they could make all the mistakes they wanted while I stayed magically “perfect” and approving of all they did. They didn’t need to hope in any sense, for they had all they wanted.

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