Worrying.

It was bright and warm when I went outside today. Inside there was the turbulence not merely of relationships past, but worries about the future of all sorts, stupid worries based literally on nothing.

The worst of these worries occurs when reading, when I don’t feel I’m reading fast enough. Could there possibly be anything stupider for someone aiming to recount chapter and verse of any book he reads?

I should say that some people don’t worry enough. A younger woman told me yesterday, without hesitation, that she read as well as I did and that she needed to learn nothing from anyone before school started. This girl, btw, has spent a good amount of time dropping out of school and dropping back in again.

There used to be that prayer all over my old Catholic school, which asked God for the strength to change the things that could be changed, for the restraint to not attempt changing what is inevitable, and the wisdom to know the difference between those things. I never much liked that prayer, for God’s beneficence is most manifest when things that seem foregone and are awful are brought to a happy conclusion. But I should say that while waiting for the Good, a little bit of patience could be a very helpful thing.

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