For P, regarding Christmas

I suck at giving you gifts. Part of the reason is that I know if you need it, you’ll ask for it or buy it.

I suppose, in a deep sense, that makes you one of the least needy people I know. Many of those to whom I give my best gifts are very, very needy, more needy than they realize. They think they’re independent, for they think they know what they want: obsessed with money or freedom typically, they think they love, but I can safely tell you for them it is a subordinate thing to those two “goals.”

A life lived not lusting after power, but in appreciation of all that is and can be done, is a far cry from the babyishness our materialism supports. I’ll get you something for Christmas, don’t worry about that. I suppose what is most remarkable is that you would care for it, but not need it in a very deep sense, and that is just stunning in this day and age when we know people whose pride has been injured not by the absence of a gift, but the mere presumption it has a lack of quality.

Merry Christmas, hope to talk to you soon.


  1. we’ve had some head-scratching around christmas gift giving in our family this year. i think part of this stems from what gifts mean to us. when joe, to whom gift giving means A and gift receiving means B, exchanges gifts with paula, to whom gift giving means C and receiving them means D – well, it gets pretty complicated, especially when the rest of the family is involved, each member with their own feelings, thoughts and actions around gift giving.

  2. That “tonyhomo” site was HILARIOUS! Absolutely hilarious! Drew Bledsoe is such a dick!! It reminds of Hammel Watch, remember that gem?

    When it comes to friendship, real friendship, gifts don’t matter. The friendship itself is a gift that gives continuously. Those who are needy need your gifts, a friend does not. They will however appreciate any thing that is given as what it is. For them it is the fact that you would go and get them any thing at all that is special to them, because the friendship is the gift.


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